You have to try no matter what. Try in life and try in love. Make no excuses for the things that didn’t happen because you didn’t put forth your best effort. You are lying to yourself more so than anyone else. Once we make a decision to pursue our life goals and dreams or commit to a relationship. This desire must be met with a committed and consistent effort. As you know, some things just don’t work out no matter how hard you have tried. I think we all understand this quite well with regard to matters of the heart. The most important thing you can do in your life is to never make quitting an option.
We quit because it’s easy and there’s always a great story attached to quitting. We always seem to have the answers to why something didn’t work out. Colourful stories are easy to hide behind. No one ever calls you out on living this lie because at some level we all live this lie. The lies we tell ourselves when we don’t believe in ourselves. Our fear of the unknown or fear of reaching success.
Success is a scary thing to actualize for many people. It’s an impossible feat that once met that will leave one fearful of losing it all. I am sure you have heard many successful people say, “I don’t think I deserve this”. I don’t think they truly believe this at all. Unfortunately, many of us have been taught to believe that celebrating big accomplishments shows lack of humility. Since when did humility mean that you need to be mediocre? It’s okay to express your gratitude and excitement when you reach your goals.
What I mean by success is the actualization of your life goals. You quantify what success means to you. Success is a broad term and will take on different meanings for everyone. Whether your goals are grand, small, simple or extravagant, accomplishing them is your success; own this.
You Have To Try No Matter What: In life
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference”. This is an excerpt from my favourite poem The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. I think I have mentioned it before. I remember the first time I heard this poem, as quickly as the words skipped off the page as I read them, they seeped within in my being. Words to remember whenever I felt I needed to fit into the status quo. Whenever I felt I wasn’t good enough and felt quitting is the only option. For me, the only option has been to forge ahead on my own path.
Time has taught me in order to achieve your goals it’s more than a matter of commitment. We can all fool ourselves into thinking that we are working towards something because we wake up or show up every day. It’s what you do in the moment, it’s committing with effort and energy exerted. An energy that is both emotional and physical. Your desire must be met with consistency and ingenuity. You must be willing to sweat and you must be willing to accept the losses and sacrifices required to get there.
I am not sure what your life goals are but what I know is that like myself and most people, we take breaks when they aren’t needed. We allow our minds to fool us into thinking that we can’t go on anymore. That we can’t because it’s hard. We take vacations from our goals as if time will wait for us to be ready. The truth is, you will never be fully ready for what’s in store. Nothing ever looks exactly how you imagined it nor should it.
What you can do is prepare and develop a life ethic that is built around you trying no matter what. Whether you are just starting out, in the middle of the road or you have reached your destination, keep putting your best effort into what you desire. Make no excuses for laziness and definitely not fear. Today may be the only moment you have, if it’s the last, then make it your best.
You Have To Try No Matter What: In love
Everyone wants to be in love but no one wants to work when in love. Love is indeed a feeling. Beyond the feeling, love is a decision. One must have the desire to cultivate love and sustain love. Obviously, not every relationship is meant to last forever. Further, many of us sometimes settle or fall into relationships we aren’t meant to be in. Trying to sustain, create or convince yourself to stay in a relationship when the feelings aren’t there is an effort wasted. You are wasting your time and their time. The same way you approach your dreams, knowing that it feels right to pursue. This must be applied to relationships as well.
You have to believe in love in order to receive it. Believe that you are worthy of love. Your daily goal, no excuses, is to work diligently on loving yourself. We are better able to recognize love when we can see, nourish, accept and love ourselves. Once we decide to extend love to another, to embrace that feeling of love for someone. It’s important to understand that the feeling won’t sustain love if we do not put in the effort required for it to grow. If you see relationships or loving someone else as a chore, perhaps you should spend some time alone to figure out where this is coming from. It could be that you aren’t with the right person. You most likely need to learn to love yourself better before you openly give love. If this is you, you need to let them go so they can cultivate love with someone else.
Once you have decided to build a relationship, a life, with another being. It’s your duty to put in the work. Tend to your relationships with care and respect. Honour this bond, that not many people will get an opportunity to experience. Love is abundant but unfortunately, we withhold its raw beauty due to fear. When in love, you must be fearless and vulnerable. You either give it all you’ve got or my advice to you is to leave it be until you can. Loving someone doesn’t mean you give up on you or your goals. The right partnership will allow self-growth. When two individuals who are growing separately unite they can grow together.
We find relationships challenging because there is a disparity in efforts needed to make the union grow. Both individuals must consistently put in the work. Another reason is that we date the wrong person and hold on to them too long. After this, we then convince ourselves that love, as Amy Winehouse sings it, “is a losing game”. You aren’t winning in love if you’re lazy and you definitely aren’t going to win if you don’t believe it’s a gift.
Love is patience because it requires you to wait for the right person. When they arrive you will know without a doubt. It’s up to you what you do with love when it arrives. The timing won’t be perfect but when it shows up in your life you have to try no matter what.
