Working on my confidence has been my top priority this year. I think more so than any other year. As of late, I have realized how important it is to believe in yourself; to like yourself. Sure, it’s not like didn’t know this but like most people, I just didn’t always get it or the ways in which I was preventing myself from doing so. Life happens and it challenges you. It challenges who you think you are and who you want to be. People come in and out of your life, some of these people are great additions to our lives and other people we wish we never met.
I am sure you can think of a few people you wish you never met or ran as far away as you could from them. You need to trust your instincts. I know we want to give people a chance, but if your gut says no don’t question this. Get as far away from them as possible. One thing, I have learned from the people who I wish I never met is that your self-worth is integral to your overall well-being. I have learned how bad relationships/friendships can seriously fuck up your self-confidence. At the end of the day, you can’t spend your life blaming other people for the way you feel. It starts with you and what you believe to begin with. If you don’t think you are good enough and have the misfortune to let someone in your life who decides to substantiate this belief, you will think this must be true.
Let’s just make this clear, you have always been good enough. You are beautiful being and you are loved. You can do anything you put your mind to. It’s time for you to regain your self-confidence and block out all the negativity and negative words you have heard from people. I know it’s not easy, you have to put in the work to change the way you think. Every thought and your reaction to your thoughts will determine the outcome. It will determine your hour, your day and your week. Your thoughts are like a garden, be mindful of the fruit you pick and choose to consume. Rotten fruit will make you unwell, are your thoughts making you sick? Anxious?
Don’t be hard on yourself. Everyone is struggling with their thoughts, some more than others. But at some point in everyone’s life, we will struggle with what we think and what’s true and how our actions with regard to how we think will impact everything.
Start your day with gratitude
Today I woke up and the first thing I said: thank you for today, I love myself, I love this house, this bed, my family and I am loved. Before I go to bed and I think of 5 things that I enjoyed about the day, some days it’s more than five. No, my life isn’t perfect. I am sure it may look that way on the outside, everyone’s life looks perfect when it’s not yours. So don’t wish for anyone else’s life, be thankful for the one you have and figure out how to make it the best life ever. A journey that is written just for you. An adventure that will have ups and downs, but one that belongs to you. Through every struggle, those down and dark moments, use gratitude to get you through. Through all the high moments, when the sun is beaming through your soul use gratitude to affirm that you are a survivor; your own hero
I know what it’s like to feel lost within your own body and mind. My struggles are small, I know in comparison to your struggles perhaps or someone else. It’s all relative but the feeling is the same. The feeling of feeling lost or not good enough. When you’re feeling beaten up by life and by people. What I have learned is that it will always start with you. With all the help in the world and as you know I encourage you to have a good support system (family, mentors, therapists, doctors, healers), the only person that will get you to that good place is you. Your support system is an anchor that will help you stay afloat but you are the one who will keep your head above life’s turbulent waters. You have to believe in yourself. It’s a daily practice, it a muscle that must be built.
Protect your confidence
Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you…right? I wish. But you know what it can be true if you let it be true. Once you begin to know and love who you are you must be diligent when it comes to what kind of energy you allow to permeate your being. People can say some awful things, but guess what always remember that makes them ugly not you. Don’t let their ugly become your ugly and what you think and feel. It takes work but you have to learn to filter energy and how to release it. Release and push against what doesn’t serve you.
When you have a negative encounter or someone in your life that makes you question your self-worth. Don’t for a second try to analyze it. Flush it down the toilet, throw it away, burn it metaphorically speaking. If this is a person in your life, let them go, move on from them, spend less time with them. This is not the kind of person you need in your life. You have to think about yourself in a situation like this because you matter. It’s okay to be selfish if it’s to preserve your self-worth and your happiness. Don’t make excuses from someone like this, life will show them that this isn’t how you learn to love yourself by making other people feel bad about themselves. You don’t need to carry the weight of their fears and lack of self-worth. Why? Because you have your own and what other people think of you will never matter. What you think…this is powerful.
Here is a great video by Lewis Howes & Marisa Peer for you to watch:
