I have been thinking about the whole concept of getting your life back on track. We say this, for example, when we talk about fitness, people often say “the snapback” or “I want to get myself back into shape“. I have realized the reason why thinking this way is hard to navigate and why it can be demotivating; knowing that we can’t go back. We can’t change what has already happened and we can’t have the same experiences we once had before. We can’t go back in time, nor should we want to. So I have been thinking, what’s next? How do we move forward in challenging times? How do we reset the clock when moving forward is the best option?
This is something, we need to embrace as we work towards changing as a global community and also at the individual level. When I began to experience symptoms of vertigo a few years ago I remember the anxiety and feeling of sadness due to the lack of control over my body and all the symptoms that come with it. I remember the angst I felt as I searched the internet for answers. Looking for a way to return to the state I had previously known. Prior to this, I thought I felt great.
But there were things, now that I have had the time to think about it, particularly in the last few years, that I didn’t like. I realized as my world began to literally spin I needed to change everything I thought about myself. This moment in my life pushed me to change everything I thought about people and the way things are in my life and also happening around me. I think this is an important step in moving forward. Changing the way we see ourselves and how we see each other.
I know I can’t go back and I know none of us can go back. Accepting this is painful but it’s freedom. The past can teach us a lot. We should use the past as life lessons so we don’t repeat mistakes or go back to old habits and old ways of thinking that do not serve us in a positive and loving way. We recognize we can’t go back yet we hold on to old beliefs within ourselves and old ideologies as a whole, as a global community. Beliefs that keep us locked in the past. I believe that this is something that we should start to think about. How this contributes to our suffering.
It’s important for you to start thinking about your life moving forward. Use the tools of the past, these are lessons. This will help you overcome or experience a rebirth of self which I think should continuously happen throughout your life. So I guess you are wondering, how do you move forward in challenging times? As we push for things to change around us we have to start working on what’s happening within us.
All the pain that we are suppressing. The anger, the shame, the guilt, the beliefs that aren’t even ours, that people have put upon us. It’s time for us to work on this first. This must also be done while we work on what’s happening around us. One could say, if the people won’t change, we can’t expect the community to change. If you are not pushing forward in your life and you are one person in the community. Imagine other people like you doing the same thing, deciding not to move forward? This manifests into the energy of the collective and therefore as a community, we do not move.
We have to stop looking at our neighbours or people across the globe and what they are doing wrong in order to give us an excuse not to move. The “better than you/them” mentality is flawed and it prevents change. We have to pay attention to what we are doing and what we need to do.
Looking at any aspect of the past and saying ‘I want that back’ is detrimental to growth and change. You’re not there anymore. You have to reclaim your life, your body in a new form and new existence and make it the best it can be in the here and now. You are a different person now, we are a different world now and getting to where we need to be must be different. The things around you are different and how you achieve that goal will be different as well.
The most important thing I will say to you is that we have to stop living in shame or reminiscing on what once was. Holding onto anger. What we can do is say “we don’t like this, I don’t like this, we are going to change this“. We shouldn’t want the past to be in our future in any shape or form. The past should only be lessons, even the good moments that we loved and cherished. We can hold them, dear, to our heart but we know that there will be more love and better things ahead.
I hope that during this time you have taken the time to reflect on what hasn’t been working in your life. The ways you have sabotaged yourself, relationships and friendships. How this idea of looking back at what once was is making you unhappy. It’s preventing you from being happy, content. To achieve this, we have to rid ourselves of this mindset of going back. Whatever that may be for you. Getting that relationship back, that body back, that life that once was back, rather than moving forward into something new.
Here are a few steps to take to move forward:
Start to accept where you are, right now at this moment. Acceptance heals you. This doesn’t mean you should accept negative situations or toxic people. Remember, we let go of what doesn’t nourish us. Acceptance is integral to moving forward.
The next step is to get up. To quote Sadhguru “get up and just do the damn thing“. Don’t makes excuses. Whether it’s sticking to your workout routine, getting your mental health in order, seeing a therapist or joining a support group. Just do the damn thing! Work through it. Find acceptance to move towards growth and change. This doesn’t mean that the things that happened to you aren’t valid. I validate your pain, your struggle; it’s real. I just don’t want you to live in victimhood it’s something I see so often. Where we allow ourselves or other people to fall into victimhood so they don’t know how to empower themselves to get back up.
People talk about victim shaming and I know people do shame victims, this isn’t right. I don’t want you to sink into your victimhood. You are not powerless, you are powerful. I think it’s detrimental to your wellbeing to let this become your identity, you are more than this, what happened to you. What happened to you, doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are. Rather than allow this to take over everything that you are or everything that you become. You need to learn how to move forward and do whatever it takes to push forward.
We can’t change what happened to you but what you can do for you is empower yourself and change that narrative that’s keeping you in that place where you were violated, broken. You don’t have to live a life feeling broken. If anyone is making you feel this way, saying you should think this way, they are preventing you from moving forward. Use what happened to you as the fuel you need to rewrite the new chapters of your life. We can use what happened in the past to write a better future; we can do better, we will and we must.
