Lately I have been noticing the lack of care that people have towards others. It’s as if we forget that being kind is an easy thing to do. We treat people like they are disposable and only in our lives to accommodate our needs for short moments and once we are done we discard them. It’s a really sad state of affairs to witness. To see people you felt were good friends treat you like an object that they can store on a shelf and take down when they need it. I have always believed that in all relationships it’s important to show people the same respect you would want them to show you.
As you get older you realize that life isn’t like high school anymore. You don’t have to stick around with toxic people just because there is nothing you can do. It’s big world outside of the high school life. The good news: you can abandon the toxic friends who have nothing nice to say about anyone. You can forget the judgement and the need to fit in. Who wants to fit in anyway? Anyone who has ever done anything worth talking about in this world didn’t fit in. Just use fashion, art, history or music as an example because these people in most cases didn’t fit in. If you are currently in a situation where you have ‘friends’ who don’t understand the value of true friendship it’s time to get rid of them. Why spend your valuable time with the ‘mean girls’. How exhausting is it to be friends with those shady folk. You know who you are, you are the girl who smiles in someone’s face and then you go around town saying not so nice things about them. You take joy in excluding them but never miss a beat to call them if you need something. If you are this girl, I feel sorry for you. The slogan what goes around comes around will definitely apply to you.
A friend of mine once told me that she didn’t think that as she got older the friends that she dearly cared about would abandon her. She is one of those girls who would do anything for her friends. She always believed that her friends felt the same way about her. As time has passed and life has changed she has seen how quickly a good friendship can go sour. In most cases it’s the “I’m always there for you friend” that gets treated the worst. I told her to forget about them. It’s that simple. There are a lot sad things that will happen in life and worrying about someone who doesn’t value you is a complete waste of time. I also told her that if this person wanders back into your life…of course they need something. Tell them to wander back to wherever they came from and out of your life. I think it’s good to give people chances but when someone shows you who they are; believe them. Believe them enough that you can wish them well from a far but you have no space for them in your life. The beauty about growing in life is that you can form new bonds with people who are on the same page as you are. You can build solid friendships with like minded people. Just because you have known someone for years you don’t have to keep them in your life if it is no longer a positive situation. We all have a friend or person in our lives who provides nothing but a negative experience yet keep them around because we are loyal to the time we have known them. Instead, you should be loyal to the time you spend on earth. Spend your time with people who support you; people who wish the best for you. Don’t spend time with the “sometimes friend” (definitely get rid of this person). Don’t spend time with the person who has a lot to say about everyone else’s life. This is not a loyal person and they truly only love themselves. Actually as I think about this perhaps they don’t value themselves and are simply projecting their own insecurities. None the less, this is not someone you want to keep too close. I advise you not to share any of your secrets with them.
Being kind is cool and it’s effortless. Being cold and mean takes too much work. If you find that you have a friend or two that live in the mean girls club. It’s time for you to start to clean house. It’s time to part ways with them; you will feel a lot better once you do. As you look back on your life you will thank yourself for this bold move. It’s not easy to let go but right now it’s essential for your well-being and growth. If you want a positive and healthy life you have to get rid of the things, habits or people that prevent you from living this ideal. Developing healthy habits is not just a matter of how you behave but also indicative of the company you keep. This is a life lesson you will learn as you grow and learn about yourself. What you do know now is that she’s not your friend.
In honour International Women’s Day I hope you pass on the motto: Be Cool, Be Kind – ALWAYS. As women it’s important for us to support each other. We are after all in this together. Together we can do amazing things.
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