Material form is not thus. This is the first phrase that popped out of the pages of a book I flipped through while browsing through library stacks at age 12. Simply written on the cover of the book was the word Buddhism. It was in this moment I began to delve into this ancient spiritual lifestyle and the discovery of self. Years later, when all is silent, I think of this phrase often as I look in the mirror or look at another being who I admire and love. The realness yet impermanence of this existence captivates me. It leaves me in awe and in fear at the same time.
In times when anxiety keeps me up at night with thoughts of when and what if? When I look at the person standing before me in the mirror, I think of who I am. Who people think I am and who I want and I am destined to be. There it is again, floating in my mind…”Material form is not thus”. What does this mean? Simplified it means your body isn’t you. Your body is a vessel that carries you through life. Your body is important because it’s the capsule that contains you. It’s like the astronaut in the spaceship floating in the hemisphere. You are that astronaut continuously trying to find your footing without gravity. Always looking to return back to your core, who you are.
How Do We Discover Self?
You are going to be mad at me when I tell you, I can’t tell you that. The answer really is within you and it’s always been there. There are tools to lead you there but the tools that work for me may not be the right ones for you. For some of you, it’s a simple journey and others it will be quite challenging. Finding who you are must be met with acceptance. You need to accept who you are first. Self-love and acceptance will slowly lead you there. As you know, this is a daily effort. For all the times you have hated yourself there are also many times where you loved yourself or felt proud to be you.
Sometimes self-love can last for a second (that’s it) and self-hate can last for hours, years, and decades. Self-hate normally stems from our external environment and what others think of us. Living in this state prevents you from discovering who you are and why you are loved. Even if you wore born in dire conditions, you were loved at conception and onward. No human being will ever take this away from you. Once you understand this, you will always know that you must go within, take moments to be alone to get back to this place that has never left you.
What happens is that we forget. Life happens, situations happen and people. Social conditioning and all the things that come with the human existence test our ability to remember that we are beings living a human experience. There is nothing wrong with the human experience, it’s the way we behave while trying to navigate through it. This is what creates a disconnect between your self and your purpose here. When we feel disconnected, out of sorts, we are erratic, angry, sad, fearful and aimless. Once you get rooted, back to that place within you, you find peace, you find love and you see yourself exactly how you are meant to.
Where To Start
First, you have to stop lying to yourself. This false narrative is contributing to your unhappiness and taking you away from the self-discovery process. Start with faith, faith that is rooted in love and acceptance. You decide what spiritual practice best works for you, what speaks to you at the deepest level. As you know, one of the things I like to do is meditate. Perhaps, this is where you should start or maybe it isn’t? It’s important to find a practice you feel deeply connected to, this will help you stay committed to the process. It’s challenging with all the distractions we deal with in our lives on a daily basis. If you feel half interested or no connection, there’s no point. It’s like being in a relationship but your heart isn’t in it, you waste your time and someone else’s time. Is this fair? No. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will have in this life. Don’t commit to anything that doesn’t enrich this relationship. Commit to a spiritual practice that honours this bond; your commitment to self.
If you can’t commit to yourself, I don’t trust you. How can anyone trust someone who betrays themselves? Someone who doesn’t trust their better judgment? An individual who isn’t in tune with themselves? This doesn’t mean I think you should be selfish. When you are committed to yourself, you are in turn giving yourself what you need. Furher, you will be able to effortlessly give more to others without any expectations.
Since, staying rooted, connected to the true essence of who you are, beyond material form isn’t easy. You will have to find ways to make this happen. There are a lot of great books, you can find a mentor or spiritual practice that helps you stayed aligned and connected.
It’s What No One Sees Until You Let Them
Look beyond what you see and what other people think of you or what you want others to see. There you are, this is you. We fear complete darkness because it’s the only time we move beyond the tangible human existence and into the unimaginable state of being. Not this body but what’s within you. This is where the discovery of self lives, this is you.
