Somewhere in the world, there is a lonely person, who doesn’t like themselves that much looking for someone to bully. They are scrolling through their phone looking for their next victim to attack with
In this life, we will all make mistakes. Some of these mistakes we can’t make excuses for, we have to acknowledge our role in the choices we make and learn from them. You will never be perfect, no one is perfect. Social media has put our lives on centre-stage. Everyone’s life is on the big screen now for millions of people around the world to view and judge.
I am fortunate, that my generation didn’t rely on social media to decide what’s worth talking about. My generation got to experience a time when “news” was real news and the aim of journalists was to share information without bias. They understood that the truth is what people need; not manipulation. Back then, it was the truth that sells. With this people understood that words mattered and carried a lot of weight. Further, that information could change lives in a positive way or tear them apart.
When We Used Our Clear Minds
We used our discernment and studied all the facts, looked at both sides of the story before we passed judgement. Now, you’re guilty because people say so. You are guilty when people don’t like how you look or how you live your life. You are guilty with ill intention even if this isn’t your truth. We are living in a time that one could liken to the modern day witch craze. One false move and you will be socially burned. One false move, you will be publicly shamed or the kids at school will think this gives them license to bully you. Who are you? Are you the accused? Are you the victim? Or are you the bully? Either way, it doesn’t matter, you are not safe when it comes to the hate from the bullies that live online.
We are not God. When did the tables turn? How have we forgotten that we are just human beings living the human experience? It’s our duty as people to guide each, love each other and when someone strays or makes a mistake we should show them a better way to themselves and thus a better way to live a happy life. Instead, we have created a culture of bullies that live online. Bullies, just like the accused, who have suffered, who have been abused, who don’t always feel comfortable in their own skin. For some, it’s easier to throw rocks in hopes that no one sees them.
Freedom To Express Ourselves
I believe we need to voice our truths and people should take a moment to listen. I also believe that we must be mindful and intentional with our words. The freedom to express one’s self has become easier with social media, emails and text messaging. There’s a lot of good and a lot of negativity that can be said in one message. This energy transfers itself onto our day to day interactions with people as well. We forget about other people’s feelings, we think more about ourselves than the other when we want to get our point across.
We now think it’s okay to diminish someone’s feelings through our freedom to express ourselves online. I know I am not perfect. There have been times I have said things I didn’t mean, or maybe I meant it, I just shouldn’t have said it. Fortunately, I have never taken any hurt feelings or views online. There is an inner bully in all of us. A bully is a person who has been hurt and therefore hurts others as a way to shield themselves and for retribution for what has been done or said to them.
Our freedom to express our views online can often unleash the bully within. The problem with this is that as connected as we are there is a disconnect with emotions. We no longer attach feelings to our words or actions because the internet makes us feel safe. As quickly as we can express what we feel we can hide away without consequence. Not only do we not feel how this impacts someone, no one holds us accountable. We run with whatever we feel is right with no remorse or contrition. For some, this ability makes them feel strong and therefore validated.
A Nurtured Culture
We are nurturing a culture where people find validation in hurting others. The bullies online are strangers you don’t know but they are also people you know. The bully is you and it’s also me. Whether you pass judgment privately or openly, it’s important to recognize how our assumptions of what may or may not be is harmful to others and ourselves. It’s important to recognize your role in nurturing this unhealthy culture. This starts at home, conversations you have with friends and more importantly the feelings you have about yourself. With this acknowledgment, we can check each other and steer ourselves and others to have more compassion for each other.
We are all just trying to get through this life purposefully. Learning each day through our experiences to love ourselves, respect ourselves, nurture ourselves and find complete acceptance. In order to do this, we must master the bully within. The first step is recognizing that just like you, everyone wants to be loved.
