We are lost in our opinions about life, our opinions about people. Sometimes our views can impact someone’s life in a negative way. We assume we know everything, even though we know nothing at all. Most of us are still trying to figure out who we are. Who are you? I bet, you still have no idea. I want to apologize on behalf of you and myself, sorry for judging you. Life is tricky to navigate in the first place and knowing that people are allowing their ignorant judgments to hinder you in some way sucks. You can’t control people.
People are entitled to their opinions whether right or wrong. My advice to you is to spend very little time worrying about it. Opinions are the little things in the life that don’t matter. I hope you know the difference between positive feedback that’s meant to help you improve versus a point of view that’s intended to bring you down. The problem is most people tend to focus on the latter and not the former. Like moths to a flame, we fill our minds and hearts with what doesn’t nourish us. We self-harm by choice when we choose to focus on opinions that don’t make us or life better.
I know the internet, particularly social media doesn’t make it any easier. We have pretty much opened up our lives for public opinion. Just like you, I see things online and I make assumptions (in my mind). I don’t feel it’s necessary to send my opinions out into the universe. Besides, making assumptions about what you see without really knowing what is going on and sharing them is a jackass move in my opinion. So much happens when you say less. You never know what’s happening beyond what you see. Further, just because you read/heard it somewhere, that doesn’t make it true.
We also judge each other in public spaces. We judge what people are wearing, who they know, how much money they have, their bodies, their relationships, who they’re married to. We think we know better than them and allow our external assessments to outweigh truth. It seems like the search for truth and the meaning of life has been lost. Lusting after likes and fleeting happiness has taken over our ability to discern what’s real; what matters. Integrity and character have simply gone out the window. Yet, we wonder why we feel so empty, not good enough.
It’s time for us to realize that we have created this problem. Where we judge ourselves based on perception and not what really is. Guess what? You don’t have to fit in. In fact, try not to. Use that beautiful mind of yours and your intuition to guide you through life. Trust that your purpose requires your uniqueness. I hate that you feel left out or out of place in spaces with people who don’t deserve you. Perhaps it’s time for you to look for people who see what you believe about yourself. So many of us spend valuable time seeking approval, rather than living. I want you to live, I want you to let go so life can really happen for you.
I am in an industry, as beautiful as it looks on the outside where bullies exist. Bullies grow up and look good making others feel bad about themselves. There’s a lot of false judgments that have no merit. It’s important for you to understand that it doesn’t matter what you do for a living if you are rich, broke, famous or somewhere in-between. You are not impervious to judgment. The blades of judgment are thrown at everyone and it hurts. We all do it because it’s done to us. It’s our way of returning the cruel favour to someone else. It’s a vicious cycle.
So what do we do? You need to stop judging yourself so harshly. You are your biggest critic and if you haven’t figured it out by now. Let me enlighten you, we judge others as a defense mechanism in hopes that they won’t see the things that we don’t like about ourselves. We are all the same when it comes to self-doubt. You need to check yourself if you find yourself judging people harshly. Yes, I know sometimes it’s just but what about all the other times you judged wrongly? All the times you went out of your way to make someone feel uncomfortable? Think about the times this has happened to you and how you felt. It’s not a good feeling is it, particularly when it’s unjust.
You never know what someone is going through. Perhaps, you don’t care to understand. With that said, you have no right to play judge and jury on other people’s lives. When you enter new spaces, meet new people, leave your judgment at the door. Don’t jump to conclusions before you get to know them. Give people the same treatment you desire. If you think I am judging you for your tactless judgmental behaviour, you know who you are, I want you to know I am not sorry for judging you. In fact, I think it’s time for you to apologize to yourself (the judgment runs deep) and all the people who have treated poorly.
