Girl power is in full force and stronger than it’s ever been. If women didn’t realize their worth before or questioned it, they sure as hell know what it is now and that it’s time to make sure that ALL women will have the opportunities available to live their best life. It’s important for women to understand that in order for us to see the changes we seek we need to help other women whenever possible. I want to share with you what I have learned from women I have worked with and how these lessons have impacted my life in great ways. I think it’s important for myself and other women to share their stories about great women that they have worked with and how these experiences helped them at some point in their life. Sharing stories about women helping one another is a great way to improve our relationships with each other and in turn build a strong sisterhood.
What I have Learned From Women I have Worked With…
Before, I get into it. I am going, to be honest. Working with other women isn’t always easy, we are not always kind to each other. We often forget that we are literally going through the same struggle, trying to be heard and respected. If anything, we should at least give each other respect. We may not see life through the same lens but guess what life sees us the same way, as women. With this commonality, we must find a way to build bridges that support each other.
We Can Help Each Other
I am sure many of you can think of a time where you felt betrayed by someone you viewed as your sister. It’s this first betrayal in a sisterhood that in most cases sets the benchmark of how women view each other. Maybe it was in first grade, high school or college? At some point in your life, you witness the fragility of relationships with other women. As a result, this has shaped the way you view other women and your interactions with women. For the first time, you realized that competition between women exits. You understand that competition exists between men but what separates the two is that men at the end of the day will always help each other up. Women on the other hand, out of fear and what has been ingrained in their brains at an early age, will leave or a push each other behind. Why? Because for some reason if you’re a woman the idea of scarcity in all aspects of life haunts you. For many women, the notion that there’s just never enough drives their daily interactions. As women, we are not only competing with or for the boys, we are competing with each other. We are competing as if there isn’t enough left for us when in actuality there is indeed more than enough.
The lesson: Many moons ago I worked at an art gallery. It was a really small office with 4 women working there. A part-time summer job that taught me about our ability as women to support each other. If I am honest, the boss wasn’t so nice to us. I am not sure if she was aware of this but she had a tendency of making those around her feel small and insignificant. Thankfully, the other women and I didn’t allow this energy to affect the way we acted towards each other. Instead, we encouraged and supported each other. We understood, all though unspoken, that we could be better than this. So we helped each other whenever we could. It’s easy to adapt to an environment in a negative way, joining that status quo, rather than pushing against it. We resisted this type of energy and pushed against it. We all had a choice, compete for a approval or work together for growth.
There will be times in your life where you are placed in situations that require you to foster relationships with other women. You can view this as a time of competition or time where growth can take place. Always remember no one takes what’s truly meant to be yours. Success is determined by what you do.
The Only Person You Compete With Is Yourself
From an early age, women are taught that it’s okay to take from each other rather than help each other. It’s a competitive world and only the strong will survive. What if I told you that strength had nothing to do with you in relation to others? What if I told you that strong people never look to their neighbor and see what they can take from them? Rather strong people understand that the challenge lies within. Further, your biggest opponent is you. It’s the mental noise and clutter that makes you think you aren’t good enough or compare yourself to others. Stop looking to the left and right, to see what your neighbor is doing. Look straight ahead, look in the mirror. There she is, your biggest threat and biggest competition. She wants you to win. Do you want to win? Do you want to live your best life? Well, that person you see every day in the mirror is the only person you should compete with.
The Lesson: I used to help my neighbor with her expenses and other office duties. I remember thinking what a boss lady, a single mom, great job with a great approach to life. We would often talk about life and the lessons we learned. One of the great pieces of advice she told me was that you have to have your own thing going on as a woman. She was never focused on what someone else was doing. Nor did she spend her days talking bad about other women. It was a great lesson that has stuck with me.
Not Everything Is About You
I know this is a hard one for many to digest, but yes, not everything is about you. Don’t fret, this is a good thing. It’s time for you to embrace this concept because thinking otherwise is sabotaging your potential to accomplish great things. Not every woman you encounter or work with has ulterior motives. Don’t attach jealousy to everything…every woman isn’t jealous of you or wants to be you. Stop thinking like this, it’s quite ridiculous, to be honest. When a woman is in charge, for some reason, it easy to make her the villain. I have sat through many conversations with disgruntled friends who hated their female bosses. There were a few instances when I felt, well if this was a man acting this way you would think nothing of it. Unfortunately, we don’t see our own prejudices against each other. It’s hard for women not to make it personal, about them, when working with another woman.
The lesson: I once worked at a small luxury boutique. Prior to working there, I heard stories about how awful one of the owners was towards her female staff. Honestly, I did find her a bit abrasive but knowing what I know now, I realize that it wasn’t about me. A job had to be done and she was giving you the tools needed to get it done. She once told me, you have to stay on people, you can’t assume people will do things for you. This piece of advice has helped me immensely over the years. You can’t go after what you want passively. Her intentions were good. If anything, her goal was to build you up and make you confident; fearless. People are not always going to be warm and fuzzy towards you, don’t take it personally. What you should always desire is respect. When there is a job to do be done, get it done, no excuses. She wouldn’t accept anything but the best and she wanted you to feel the same way. Be the best you can be no matter what.
