I am sure when you saw the title of this post you instantly thought about rotten fruit. As I write this I am thinking about the lyrics from Erykah Badu’s song Appletree. One of my favourite lines from this song is “See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit and Granny told me that when I was only a youth”. This beautifully written metaphor is a life lesson many people miss. Looking at social media today I realize how far removed we are from the reality that we are choosing to consume things that are not nourishing for us. We consume rotten fruit daily. If it’s rotten then why are you eating it I have wondered? In fact, a lot of people are unknowingly consuming rotten fruit in several different ways.
The issue is, we can’t see it right away and when we do we choose to ignore it if the status quo is telling us it’s cool or trendy. Or if our hearts are too invested. Whether it’s what you read, who you spend your time with, who you date or what you eat you are absorbing this into your being, your psyche and it is either impacting you in a positive or negative way.
Relationship Fruit
This is one of the rotten fruits that we consume, let into our homes and our hearts. Sounds odd doesn’t it but it’s true. If we become the people we spend our time with, as they say, then who do you become when you are in a toxic relationship? What happens to you as a person when you allow someone who doesn’t value you into your life? I bet if you look back to a time when you didn’t have this person in your life, things seem a lot brighter. You felt light and it didn’t feel like a dark cloud was following you wherever you went. When did your luck change you wonder? Life wasn’t this painful and unlucky before…YOU. If you analyze your relationship, the one you have decided to give your heart to. How much have they brought into your life? When’s the last time you felt joyful?
Joy is a feeling that is not only experienced but it is created. Do you find yourself entering into joy when you are with this person or does joy feel like a distant memory of what once was? Just like a rotten peach placed next to a perfectly healthy one. You too will rot from the inside out due to your proximity to this toxic person, this toxic relationship, the rotten fruit you are consuming day in and day out.
Learn to trust your instincts in love. Pay attention to the cues your body is giving you. The relationships you pick where love is concerned should enliven you. Like ripe fruit, love should nourish you and allow you to thrive.
Friendship Fruit
This is the kind of rotten fruit that in my mind is worse than the above, relationship fruit. It is the most deceptive. It’s kind of like biting into an apple and discovering worm. It’s when you enter your adult years you begin to see what your parents meant by the saying, not all your friends are actually friends. Further, frenemy is a real thing. If you are lucky you will experience the joy of loyal and supportive friendships your whole life. Friendships are about growth, love and building dreams without envy or resentment. This is what I call the perfect fruit. To experience this, you must do so with full discernment. What does this mean? Seeing people as they really are and not what you imagine them to be. This also applies to love relationships. When we see people for who they really are it isn’t easy to be fooled.
Where friendships are concerned it’s easy to miss this in the midst of the fun and games. Friendships are about shared interests, support and community. Your friends can become the family you choose. Isn’t this wonderful? It is if you understand that like family, your friends should encompass the strength of loyalty and the beauty of integrity. You should never feel like you are competing with your friends nor should you feel that they are competing with you. Your friends should cheer for your wins as you would for them. You should become a better version of yourself simply because they are in your life.
Word Fruit
As you scroll through social media and you read through the long posts that people write. Sharing their views of their world, their struggles, how they think things ought to be. Have you ever thought about how you feel after? Ask yourself does this person impact my life in a positive way? Am I inspired? Whatever you read, what you listen to or who you get your advice from, it’s impactful. It’s kind of the same way something someone said about you when you were young has stayed with you into your adult years. You believed what they said to be true, about yourself and now you have carried these words with you your whole life and given them meaning.
Learn to read between the lines. In other words just because someone says it’s true this doesn’t make it true. Do your research. Use your own discernment. Ask questions and if you don’t agree with it then don’t. Don’t get consumed by movements just because it’s trending on social media. For example, Blue Monday, are you feeling blue because you have been told January 20th is the most depressing day of the year? A lot of people post and hashtag this day but ask yourself…is this how I really feel? You could be suffering from seasonal blues and if so it certainly won’t be relegated to one day of the year. Ask yourself what does this mean for you and what can you do about it? Don’t just lament and accept this as your permanent reality every January 20th.
Be careful what you say to yourself. I know it’s a lot to keep in mind but this is what mindful living is about. If you have dived into meditation, the one element I think that is often missed is learning how to live mindfully. When you live with intention when you are mindful of how you consume things, who you listen to and how you allow this to dictate your behaviour and feelings. You will set yourself free from the confines of things that do not serve you in a positive way. Word fruit is powerful. Speak kindly to yourself and be conscious of what and who you listen to. Your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs become your reality and this, in turn, will manifest into the life you live.
If you aren’t mindful of relationship fruit, friendship fruit and word fruit you can’t be surprised as to why you’ve become rotten fruit.
