Nothing can compete with the epic reunion of a couple in love after they have survived a period of time apart. First, before beginning, I feel like I should confide that I am terrible at relationships at a close distance, let alone from a far distance. Long-distance, to me, is intimidating, doomed for failure and, probably, full of heartache. No, I have never given the “long-distance thing” a real, genuine shot, well… until recently. I think the key to maintaining any relationship, is communication and also compatibility. If you aren’t getting along in the same city forget it when you are even further apart.
Second, I try to say things without saying them, maybe to save myself from getting hurt. Perhaps, I’m just too awkward and find it hard to find the right words to say to avoid making a situation less awkward. I’m affectionate in different ways, the easiest being through writing or music, or conventionally, through physical touch. Third, I am far from a relationship expert and I have sucked at being in then. I feel like this makes me feel slightly qualified to give advice on what you shouldn’t do. Kind of a do’s and don’ts list.
When long-distance is involved, the number one thing that you have to remember is communication. Whether this includes five minutes of saying “hi” or sending lines of emojis, you should communicate. Now, after you remember that you are going to have to commit to steady communication, you have to think about whether or not you want to. If your answer to this is yes, then you should continue.
If you are not crafty like me, then you should use another one of your creative outlets to do something nice for the other person. If you feel as if you do not want to do this at all, then that my friend is a red flag. One of the things I like to do is write a bunch of letters labelling them when they should be opened. This strategy works well for me because I am way better at writing down how I feel than talking about it.
For the love of all that is great in this world, use Skype or FaceTime or the weird video function on Snapchat. If none of these things work due to crappy Internet connection (which is rare these days), an unfortunate skin breakout or location, just pick up your phone and call. There are so many avenues to avoid expensive phone bills; so no excuse. This leads me to suggest a good long-distance plan, you will save money this way.
Even if you think your day was boring, talk about it and no matter how tired you are, ask about their day. Apart from the fact that you are actually interested in their life, they are probably interested in your life and they probably don’t find you as boring as watching paint dry. Once again, if you don’t feel this way, then there is no point in entering into something long distance.
Most importantly, remember that any amount of distance for any amount of time is not a fun experience. Just keep in mind strong consistent communication will make seeing each other special. Sometimes, long-distance doesn’t work for a variety of reasons. Feelings fade, schedules get busy and lives move in different directions. Life is a product of your own efforts, why should relationships be any different? Love is love, and any chance you are willing to take will have a positive impact.
THINGS GUEST: Jenna Magee
