Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to have a successful relationship? Every time you start something new as time progresses, you begin to realize that although different, you have been here before. Another case of the same person, different story. I’m sure like myself and many other people. You have asked yourself why you keep dating the same person? Why do you keep falling for individuals with the same characteristics as the ones before? Of course, this got me thinking, do we date the same person over and over again? A dating cycle that’s only broken once you realize this pattern and then change it.
For some reason, we date the same person over and over again unsuccessfully until we learn the lesson we need to learn about ourselves. You must know, that there is a reason and once you discover it, actually, once you accept it you will break the cycle. It’s a cycle of emotional turmoil that you have inflicted on yourself. It’s easy to place blame on someone else but remember you choose who you date. This is your choice. If you keep getting the same results then it’s time to focus more on what you are doing and not the other person. We all play the blame game. Oh, it’s them and not me. But what about you?
Let’s start here…
Same Person Different Story
This one is my favourites because it forces you to question this whole notion of your “type”. Whenever we talk about dating we talk about the “type” of person we see ourselves with. We wrap all our decisions around this list we have made in our heads. We stick to it faithfully even if it’s slightly flawed. I understand we all have preferences and I think it’s important to connect with like-minded people. I also think you should date an individual you are attracted to. The problem comes in when you limit yourself to just “your type”. I am not sure what your type is but if you keep dating your type and getting the same results, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. It’s time to take a look at what you need. Ask yourself, what kind of partner am I looking for?
Beyond looks and what they do for a living. Think of the person you would like to build a long-term love partnership with. What kind of qualities do you desire this person to have? As you think about this, think about the kinds of qualities that will help you reach this goal. Certain qualities cannot sustain a long-term relationship. For instance, do you keep dating the person who is emotionally unavailable? If so, then you shouldn’t really be surprised that you aren’t getting what you need from them. Emotionally unavailable people are not worth putting your time into. Harsh, but true. Look for someone who is ready to open themselves up, an individual who is ready to experience a deep connection. Dating is hard, to begin with, don’t make it harder for yourself by dating someone who’s only willing to connect on a surface or physical level.
If you find yourself dating people who always seems to be too busy for you or just never has enough time for you, dump them (they are not emotionally available). Just move on. It’s that simple. I say this to those who find themselves with this type of person over and over again. Stop making excuses for them, you’re the one who will get hurt in the end. There is nothing wrong with dating someone ambitious. In fact, dating someone who’s motivated and pursues their goals is great but there needs to balance. Don’t allow someone to make time for you only when it’s convenient for them. Further, it’s time for you to realize that you aren’t that serious about getting what you want in love if you continue to date Mr./Mrs too busy. You cannot make a real-love connection if it’s always at a distance.
If your type just never has enough room for you in their life, make less room for them in your life. I understand we all have busy lives. I also understand we make time when we want to make time. You deserve to be a priority. Even if this individual fits all the requirements where your ideal type is concerned on paper. You shouldn’t make any concessions for them; they just aren’t that into you. When you decide to get real about finding a good person. Your question might be, are they selfish? Do they always put themselves first? There are some people who value their time over their partner’s time. They generally only consider themselves in relation to others and not others in relation to them. The time you give them is just as valuable as the time they knowing withhold from you. Never forget this.
Why You Keep Dating The Same Person
This is an easy question to answer. You keep dating the same person who is wrong for you because it’s comfortable. We all love what’s comfortable even if it’s not the best for us. We will find the wrong person in a different city, town or country; same person, different story. We will then convince ourselves that this time it will be different. It won’t be different. Why? Because you haven’t changed therefore the outcome of your choices won’t change either. Think for a moment. Go back to a time when you had your best relationship. Then go back to when you have had your worst. Most of us have had more bad ones then we have had good ones. Some of us have also quickly fled from the great ones. Why? We flee because it challenges everything we thought we wanted (this person isn’t completely your type…but they’re perfect for you). In addition, there’s so much comfort in the misery of dating the wrong person since we know what we will get.
Go back to your worst with the same person’s different story and think about how similar the circumstances were. What similar qualities all these lovers had in these failed relationships. How much you craved the madness of it all. Then how much it always broke your heart. You may like a partner with a little edge, but in your case, you’re a gentle soul and your heart can’t handle it. So why do you continue the cycle? If you want love, love yourself enough to share yourself with the person who is willing to give you just that. Stop convincing yourself that this time he/she will be different if they are more or less similar to the previous person who broke your heart.
