Everyone has a friend that they feel they can go to for anything. The person who has all the answers and solutions and helps you get through your many crises. You call them your Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dryer, Iyanla Vanzant, Maya Angelou, Eckhart Tolle, Jay Shetty or Tony Robbins. How lucky are you to have access to such a person anytime whenever you want. I bet you barely think about asking this person how they’re doing? What’s going on in their life? Do you realize like you they have problems and worries too? They’re a human being. What happens when your personal self-help guru needs you? Are you there for them?
I bet many of you, particularly those who tend to rely on one friend or two to unload all your problems on have never asked the above questions. I know, you have a lot going on and need help. What about the person you continuously go to? Do you think it’s fair that every time they see you or hear from you they are bombarded by your problems for two hours or more? Do you think this is healthy and that they are made of steel so nothing every bothers them? Alas, sometimes we get so lost in ourselves and our own struggles we forget that the people are around us have their own.
Manage Your Expectations Please
You expect your personal self-help guru to be there for you at a drop of a dime. If they aren’t of service to you then what could they possibly be doing? If they can’t show up to something you take offence to this because you expect them to be there always even if you don’t do the same for them. Imagine if roles were reversed? How would you feel? That your relationship with someone was only dependent on the service that they get from you without any reciprocity? You only hear from them when they want something or need advice? Never a genuine how are you? How is your life, how can I be there for you?
People get upset when the person who has been their personal self-help guru for years seems to suddenly cut ties. Just know that this didn’t come out of nowhere. The years of being only there for you and not for themselves led them to part ways with you. They decided to take their own advice and let go of the things and people who no longer serve them in a positive way. This break-up has you feeling perplexed, I understand. It’s time for you to see the toll it takes on someone emotionally when they are nothing more than your on-demand Dear Abby. Never a positive hello or a happy night out. For you, their presence is your opportunity to unload.
There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable and telling people if you need help or what’s going on with you. Keeping things in isn’t good for you. This just makes things worse and…anxiety SUCKS! I do think you need to be mindful of the person on the receiving end if it is the same person every time. You are taking advantage of a good thing and you are being an energy vampire. There’s nothing cool or nice about this. You may be unaware that you are doing this, but trust me they’re aware even if they are always there to listen to you, to help you.
What You Should Know About Your Personal Self-help Guru
Your personal self-help guru keeps you going, they’re your rock. Do you ever ask this person how they are? Are they happy? Maybe it’s your parent, aunt, uncle or cousin? Think about your emotional energetic exchange with this person or individuals, what kind of energy are you giving them. Remember, we are energetic beings and we can constantly exchanging energy. While you feed off of their positive energy what are you giving out in return? Think about things if roles were reversed. Imaging carrying the weight of the same energy everytime you interact with someone? Imagine what this would do to you and your mental well-being on a regular basis. You are most likely starting to realise it doesn’t feel very good.
Do you think Tony Robins doesn’t have a bad day? Do you think sometimes, he wants to know someone cares how he is doing? Although his profession is to be of service to people, that doesn’t mean that as a friend you can take advantage of those non-billable hours whenever you feel like it. Your amazing friend who happens to be very good at helping people get their lives together deserves to live their best life too. Of course, we all want to be there for people, I am sure he does as well. It’s also nice just to be present and be in the moment with the ones you love. A time where it isn’t about what ails you, fill it with laughter, adventure; live!
So the next time you feel like talking to your personal self-help guru please keep this in mind. In fact, asking them how they are doing might actually, in turn, help you.
